A window into my life

I haven't posted in a long time. I think it's a combination of not knowing what to say and not wanting to say what's on my mind. I realize that the purpose of blogs is to write about one's thoughts, post works of art--writings, photographs, videos, or to post about a particular subject that may be interesting to others people. I also know that blogs are public piece of property, which means anyone can view my page or use my writing without my ever knowing their identity. Still, I've found it hard to accept the fact that people I don't know so well browsing my page day to day. It bothers me that they want to know so much about my life and yet, I know nothing of theirs.

I think what really bothers me isn't that they read my blog every day, it's the fact that just because they read my blog and twitter, they think they know what's going on in my life or that they know me well. The truth is-- you don't. How can you claim to be part of a person's life when all you do is read some words on a personal blog? The truth is by the time I post these words on this site, so many things have happened and you are only getting a second account of things. What's valuable is to really be there and experience the things with me--that's how memories are created.

Of course, this begs the question why I blog to begin with. I blog because it offers me a window of release, a chance to say what's on my mind and an opportunity to reconnect with old friends who may want to know what's going on in my life. The difference between this and the previous example is that in this case, friends who are reading the blog know me already in some capacity. Perhaps, we've been living in the same college dorm or that we've traveled together. The second difference is that in addition to your keeping up with my life I also keep up with yours.

There is a balance of interaction. It isn't the case where one person reads up all they can about another person and then never share anything about himself.

I guess I realize I'm not a celebrity and I really don't wish my blog to be treated as one--a window into my life kind of thing. Sure, I go through various forms of shameless social network promotions of myself, but I really believe that a personal blog is to be read by those who care and who knows me on some personal level.

That said, I cannot prevent anyone from coming here accidentally and reading the blog, unless I take the necessary steps and making the blog private, which I have thought about at length. But why the effort to block out a few obsessed people?

Perhaps, this is an unfair analysis of recent events, but this is really how I feel. I'd be lying if I said I'm not creeped out by someone visiting my blog religiously daily just so that someone can feel that he is part of my life. If you want to be part of someone's life, you have to part of it. If not, just move on, please. I abhor stalkers.

2011 New Year Resolutions

It's that time of the year again-- the time where we consciously write down our hopes for the future. It's the time when everyone is optimistic, about the changes they will undergo in their lives in order to feel happy and fulfilled. I love the beginning of anything, because I know that in the beginning, everyone is the same-- it is only as time goes on, some people pulls ahead while others fall behind. In the beginning, we all have equal chances of succeeding, so yep, that's why I always have some form of New Year resolutions.

So, for this year 2011, here are my 5 resolutions!

1. Maintain a healthy lifestyle. For the first time ever, my first resolution is not to lose weight! And that's because I am exactly where I want to be at, except even better. To all those who think that making New year resolution is BS, I assure you that they do work and can change lives. So, for 2011, I just want to stay active, eat healthily, be health conscious, exercise and do activities that I like, for example--
2. Run in the Half Marathon 2011 in March. I'd really like to train for it or at least getting in shape for it. As a ex-Varsity cross country member, I am a little bit ashamed that I have never ran anything more than 5 miles!-- and that was 7 years ago (eeeks!!!) I guess it's one of those things-- if you don't strive to keep it (your health level), you will lose it. I certainly do not want to lose my health level, so it's good to go for it. I just need to draw up some sort of a plan to train. Also, I feel like this used to be a goal I had for myself in college but I've never done anything to realize it.
3. Become more OCD--aka detail oriented. Yea, I know, this is a weird resolution and I think so too. But it has come to my attention that I'm too big picture oriented sometimes that I can be forgetful or negligent of the details. Though I don't approve of actual OCD behaviors, like being really picky all the time, I do think that there are benefits of being careful and detail oriented. 
4. Practice delayed gratification. This is also a little bit weird, because I distinctly remembered that my new year resolution in 2005 was to be more spontaneous and allow myself to enjoy the moment. In this past year, I've found myself that I seem to be too spontaneous and in the moment (?) to the point that I have trouble choosing and focusing on more important agendas. I guess this just shows that being the "perfect" human being means having checks and balances--both delaying gratification (focusing on future) and being spontaneous (enjoying the present) are great traits to have, but it's the idea of choosing the right one at the right time.
5. Become more articulated in writing and speech. I've always admired great speakers and writers. The fact that they can express their thoughts in very few sentences and words show their depth of knowledge. I want to do that. I want to be able to make presentations in front of one person or one thousand people and be able to speak clearly and succinctly. I want to be able to write simply but profoundly, in which my writing can change the lives of people who read it.

<FIN>

Whew, that was fast. Not so difficult, right? Since it's just 5. I've found that the optimal number of New year resolutions is 5. Anything more than that, it's really hard to achieve (let alone remember), but 5 is a good number, because you can count them down on your fingers as you go.

I've also found that if you want to "fulfill" your new year resolutions, then you should put down something broad and general, because then you can be the one to set how stringent your performance can be rated. I've heard the argument that one should put down concrete goals-- I agree. But New Year resolution isn't exactly a goal list (at least not how I see it). I think of resolutions as a personal self-help list... stuff you want to work on continuously. Perhaps, that is one reason why so many people lapse on their new year resolution so soon after the new year. It's because the specific goal they make (i.e. go to the gym every day) feels discouraging since they realize how hard it is to achieve that goal. But if you simply have a general resolution, then as time goes on, you can reformulate specific goals to follow weekly and monthly and perhaps you'd actually get somewhere and not quit so soon.

And last but not least--

Note to my blog readers: To my readers, thank you for having an interest in my life! I'm really surprised each day to check my blog stats and find the steady flow of traffic. I know who some of you are but for many of you ghost readers, won't you introduce yourself and lead me a note from time to time?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! 2011!!!! WOOOO!!!!

Beautiful Tiered-tulled Dresses

Have you seen the the recent BCBG Maxazaria catalog detailing the feminine, tiered tulled dresses? Yep, ever since flipping through that, I just found myself engrossed in that sense of style-- the "feminine shapes, soft hues and luxurious embellishments". I wear a lot of BCBG clothes, mostly because their style and cut are very suitable for my taste and preferences.

Oh guess what? Today, I learned from Urban Dictionary, that BCBG means "Bon Chic Bon Genre", which is a French term meaning good taste or style, referring to clothing.  So does that make me a BCBG girl? :D

Tied-tulled dress from BCBG

More beautiful tiered-tulled dresses:

I wouldn't want my wedding dress to look like, but I do love this dress, because it's very feminine looking and really beautiful.  From Bonny Wedding Dress-- it's a Tulle V Shape Straps with tiered ruffle sequined.

 

I'm not sure how I feel about the half apron on top of the tulled layers, but I like how the model wore it at least. I love the bow at the waist and the exquisite color of the dress.

This dress is from ASOS--it's LUXE Prom Tulle Dress goes for only 75 pounds... good deal!

This is a little bit too pink and too over-the-edge for me to wear on a regular basis, but I like it how it's bold and really catches everyone's attention. 

And this one... is a really sexy way of turning something feminine and soft into sexy and independent!

 

And now, a few impractical but still beautiful tiered tulled dresses  from the runway:

Yea, I just think tied-tulled dresses can be so beautiful (maybe that's why I like ballet so much), but it's also important not to overdo the puffs and ruffles...otherwise, we'll get this. 

The model is beautiful, but the dress reminds me of a fat chicken.

Yes. We Hate Snow When It's Not Christmas.

I wished for a white Christmas and does that happen, no, of course not. Christmas Day was cloudy and gloomy. It wasn't until the next morning did the snow start to fall. What good will that do? The mid-day train back to NYC was crowded as everyone realized that it's get back to the city now or get snowed in forever. The blizzard came down down hard but I managed to get back to my apartment in one piece. Meh. Snow is only good if it's Christmas.

The next morning--today--Monday. Snow = BAD. And what do we get? A LOT of BADness. This is what it looked like for the most part:

 

So, there I am trying to figure out how to get to work-- no bus apparently since that is stuck on the street---

 

Oh! Walking... 

So I trudge along, bracing the cold, but trying to enjoy the view...

of Park Avenue...

Just as I turned around, sliiippppp, SMACK! Down I go. Ouch!

To make it worse, a dude, obviously on his commute as well, passes. Instead of helping me, he looked at me and laughed. Pshhh. Fiinnne. Glad I can provide someone with comic relief on this dismal Monday morning. 

People really need to shovel their sidewalks, because by the time I got to work, I was wet and freezing!

 

Either that, or I need to invest in a nice pair of boots.

I read in the NY Daily News today that we got 18-20 inches of snow. And that a subway carrying passengers was apparently stuck in its path for 6 hours. I am grateful that I'm not there with them, but still, Mr. Snow-- do you have to fall on the days AFTER Christmas and make everyone's life difficult??? Was it so hard to figure out that we really just welcome you on Christmas? Gosh, even Atlanta had snow on Christmas! What's up with that? Geez!

Sunday Reflections: Thought Question #4

 

This weekend I have been in the most pensive moods, especially since Christmas--a holiday typically spent with the entire family is characterized by our spending it separately in two different states and countries. Though we are sometimes the family that lacks tradition and structure in our holiday routines, it's still really hard for me to pass this year's Christmas without feeling a little bit sad and lonely.

In the last three years, my family has traveled together to some random places. Each year, we usually pick a city that we haven't been to. Most recently, it was Lake Ozark, Missouri. Lake Ozark is a beautiful place, complete with lakes, rolling hills and wonderful selection of produce; however, many people ask me, why my family always choose to go to a random place in the middle of nowhere, why not choose somewhere more exciting--like Cancun or the Bahamas? In truth, I think when my family travels together, it's not so much that we want to see the scenery or walk the historical trails, it's more about spending time with each other. 

When we travel, we often take a break from our laptops, work and school. Instead, we spend more time with each other--debating about issues in the economy (yep, nerdy family), arguing about Obama's recent policies and its impact or simply hanging out. My favorite family game is a card game called Sheng Ji. It's a really fun game, though the competitive members of my family tend to take it a little bit too serious at time. The games often take hours at times since no one wants to lose!

At home, even with our living under the same roof, it's seldom that we get to spend more than one hour with each other. There is always something to do, someone to call or some exams to study for and so we often never get the chance to play together, to talk about something, watch a movie... In our busiest time, we often don't even have time to eat together. When we travel, however, we are forced to stay with each other and so we don't choose a really noisy place because we really don't want that to distract us from our family time with each other. :)

As Anthony Brandt quotes, "Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family."

12 Things I Want By (next) Christmas!!!

Merry Christmas! Each Christmas Eve, I often make a list of what I "want(ed)" for Christmas but mostly, it becomes a list of what I expect or want by next Christmas!

Anyway, let me unmask this year's 12 things I want by (next) Christmas!

1. Prada Boyfriend Shirtdress - I don't think I've ever owned a shirtdress before...ever... and this one actually brings out the figure rather than hides it. I think it looks quite chic. Also, I like it how there is a bow on that dress. The dress below is designed by Prada and can be found in Goodman Bergdorf for $775.00. Yikes!

2. Afternoon high tea @ the Plaza Hotel - I've been wanting to have afternoon tea there, because I love tea and I love to eat daintily prepared hors d'oeuvres. Apparently, getting a seat there is difficult since I would need to reserve a space ahead of time. Once you've been to the Palm Court in the Plaza Hotel, you'll realize that the trouble should be all worth it!

3. Grey Pink Stripes USB Warmer Mitten Glove - $14.99. Believe it or not, my office is always freezing. Working in a freezing room only has two consequences--- 1. I fall asleep because I'm dying of cold or 2. My fingers fall off because I cannot type. So, with these warmer, I simply plug them into the computer and warmth will reach my fingers. Creative, huh?

4. Swan Lake @ the New York City Ballet. My one and only Christmas tradition every year is watching and enjoying the Nutcracker Ballet, only that tradition is broken this year. Oh well, Nutcracker will still always be my favorite and the one show that I will always look forward to, but there are others. One show I've been eyeing for awhile now is Swan Lake. I saw this when I was young and I was mesmerized by it. There are shows in February--only 8 shows! 

5. I love berets. It's probably one of the few hats out there that looks fabulous on me. I also like it because it's so French (though when I was in Paris, few Parisians wore it). In any case, my collection of berets are still quiet limited, though I do have a wide range of colors. My favorite one is still the purple colored one, because it goes really well with my purple UGG boots when I wear the two together. Recently, I've seen some berets with bows in them and I have to admit that they look really cute. The one below is nice, though the bow is a little bit big. Perhaps, I just need time to get used to it.  ^_^

6. New York City Half Marathon - March 20, 2011. This is not a tangible thing, but it's something that I'd love to do and have on my "personal" resume. Plus it's motivation to train for something and see results almost immediately. Anyone else out there into running and training? Half marathon is only 13 miles... it doesn't sound so bad, does it?

7. Yep yep. My newest interests are mineral gemstones. I want to learn about each mineral and gem, know what it looks like, where it's found and everything that has to do with it. Call it a phase or obsession, I just know that a visit to the Astro Gallery of Gems is in order. I'm definitely excited!

8. Edmundo Castillo L.E.D. sandals --  $1,650 -- it's seldom that I get to mix chic with geek. This L.E.D. sandal looks chunky and probably walks chunkily, but I don't care, because it can light up! L.E.D. lighting is the next sparkle! It's always cool to see something geeky applied to something fashionable.

9. Flower bouquet every month - People know me as a flower lover. I especially love bouquets and flower arrangement. A bouquet a month will surely brighten my days!

10. Become a white wine connoisseur. I've always told people that I hate the taste of alcohol and in truth, alcohol tastes bad. Recently, however, I've discovered that I love the taste of white wine.When I went to Madison & Vine recently, I had a glass of Sancerre Domaine La Croix Saint Laurent (2009?) and I loved every drop of it. White wine drinkers are often looked down upon, it seems, at least by real wine connoisseurs, but it doesn't matter, because I would very much like to learn more about the beauty and taste of white wine. :P

11. Be conversant with a French native. Again, not a tangible wish item, but definitely tangible in many aspects. J'aime la langue française. Je voudrais bien parler français et être confiant dans mon discours. Another trip to Paris? I also want to visit south of France this time around.

Last, but not least....

12.  I hope that in each and everyday of my life, I can be big hearted, content in who I am and and happy every day. After all, everyone is endowed with 24 hours, you can either spend it worrying about something trivial or you can smile and brighten yours and someone else's day. Be happy!

Just For Today

I've been taking a class at Universal Class on clutter. There are many classes listed there, some more interesting than others, but I'm taking this class on clutter control because I really want to start the new year off on the right foot. While I think my way of organization is not bad, but I always think that things can be better. Some quotes for "just for today" that I thought could be really useful for everyone--

Just For Today

(Adapted from the original credo of Al-Anon by Dear Abby)

 

Just For Today:  I will live through this day only.  I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow.  I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once.

I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

Just For Today:  I will be happy.  I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me.  If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.

Just For today:  I will improve my mind.  I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.  I will not be a mental loafer.

Just For Today:  I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable.  I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I'll not speak ill of others.  I will improve my appearance, speak softly, and not interrupt when some else is talking.

Just For Today:  I will refrain from improving anybody but myself.

Just For Today:  I will do something positive to improve my health.  If I'm a smoker, I'll quit.  If I am overweight, I will eat healthfully -- if only just for today.  And not only that, I will get off the couch and take a brisk walk, even if it's only around the block.

Just For Today:  I will gather the courage to do what is right and take responsibility for my own actions.