Macy the Dog

I never thought I'd get attached to a dog-- I wasn't a dog person after all. I was scared of dogs-- a dog phobic, as some would say. When my roommate, without telling me beforehand, agreed to housesit a friend's dog, I was nervous. I've never had a dog before in my life and my brief encounters when them in the past were not my best memories.

Macy is a 10-year old golden retriever. She is a nice dog-- so polite, well-trained and knows how to make you happy. Whenever I come home, she doesn't bark or growl, but gently paddles up to your legs and gently graze against them. She doesn't jump up (which would have scared me for sure), but simply pants and does one of her toothy grins.

When she first did that, I was scared, but then I realized that the few teeth she had in her jaw were harmless. She is an old dog, so she barely can chew.

She was on a strict dog-food diet-- only 1 cup of dog chow twice a day. Maybe I'm not supposed to do this, but I fed her-- crackers, pretzels, cake, melons... not too much of course, but a taste. I guess that's how Macy and I became great friends.

Macy also enjoyed getting massages. She would come and sit down in front of me and allow me to knead her shoulders. If dogs can purr, Macy would definitely be purring. She always looks so happy.

The cutest thing, however, is how much Macy had come to depend and love me during the short three days that I've gotten to know her. When I close my bedroom door at night, I can hear her clawing and whining outside. "Let me in!" she begs. When I feel the compassion for her and opened the door, she would glide in quickly and simply snuggles at the foot of the bed and put her head down. Looking up at me in her weary eyes, it was almost as if she said, "I just want to be close to you, that's all. I will be quiet and well-behaved."

Macy went home tonight and I actually feel sad. I never thought I'd grow close to a dog! I am very grateful for her; she not only helped me get over dog phobia, but also allowed me to feel the unconditional love that a dog has for his master.

Blog Revival

The last time I had written a post on this particular blog was a few years ago. I remembered a boy was in his hot pursuit of me. He lived in Toronto and I, in NYC. We had never met in person before, but we had been pen pals, emailing each other from beginning to end of summer. By then, he was in love with me and I was confused and wanted to get out.

Every blog post I have written he read slowly and with care. Every sentence I penned, he analyzed between the lines. It was almost as if my blog became a window into my life-- but it was only a glimmer. 

Eventually, I stopped all communication and our relationship ended. A few years later, he's married and we finally meet in Toronto. It was awkward as hell, but it was the closure that both of us needed.

Today, his wife is pregnant and he is about to become a dad.

And that's why, when today, I suddenly have this urge to write- I thought of this blog. As one of my more introspective blogs that I've started, why not revive it? There is no longer any reason to suppress the expression on this blog. 

It's time to open another window into my life.