Wednesday, October 13, 2010

I miss Him

I don't like to talk to other people about God, because I don't know how. Sometimes I feel like I don't even talk to God enough so it makes me feel weird to talk about Him to other people. It's kind of like the idea of gossiping. If I don't even talk to that person, is it alright for me to talk about that person?

There are so many things I miss about Boston, about MIT. I miss my ABSK brothers and sisters. No, they are not perfect, but when I was with them, I was close to God. Everyday, no matter where I was, what I was doing, God was in my action, in my thought and in my heart. He is real to me and I felt comfort and hope. When God led me away from ABSK and BBC into another state and town, He graciously put me in the presence of a Christian sister who became my roommate and one of my best friends. Through her, He taught me to make faith my own, to not compare other's gifts with my weaknesses, to be happy with who I am. Yet along the way, I lost my way. Away from my Christian brothers and sisters, I don't know how to behave anymore. With no one to set the bar for me, I find myself unsure of what I want and what I should look for in others. I want Him back in my drivers seat and take me where He wants me to go. I want to trust Him to make a masterpiece on my canvas of life. I want Him back in my life. I want peace in my heart. I miss Him.

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