One thing I really miss is my childhood-- those carefree times when I really didn't have responsibilities nor any real pressure to be one way or another. I regret not living my childhood to the fullest. While growing up, I remembered that I spent the majority of my time worrying about the future or being upset that I wasn't this or that. Why couldn't I have just lived my life more like how a young child should?-- full of wonders and pursuing simple pleasures?
When I close my eyes and think of my (very short but normal at this time) childhood, I think of Jerry and Mary. They are brother and sister who live next door to us in Ridgewood, NJ where I grew up. The four of us (including my younger sister), we'd play together everyday. We built time capsules, created project adventure courses, made magic spells and tried to cast them on another neighbor, did science experiments on our pavements, sold vegetables that we took out from our fridge... There was not a worry in the world, we just played from sunrise to sundown, and it was the most amazing time I've lived through. That changed when Jerry and Mary's parents had to move out of state to Pennsylvania and I was left with no neighbors to play with.
The thing with childhood is that the possibilities are endless and I have the time to pursue anything that I possibly wanted to do. I remember taken the SAT for the first time in 7th grade and receiving an award that basically told my parents that I was intellectually advanced and talented for my age, as a result, I was invited to attend some college courses with other geeky kids my age. Since I was young and my parents were still clueless, I just picked a class that I was interested in. In retrospect, I wish I had picked a more technical course like graphic design or computer programming, but at the time, I cannot tell you how happy I was to take an English Literature class. Let's just say that this was one of the last time that I took a real literature class, not counting mandatory English courses in school.
About two years ago, I was sitting in a cafe in NYC perusing a magazine, I came across an article that provided advice on how one should live. There was one piece of advice that really caught my eye. It said:
"Seize each day. Live each day as if it's your last. Leave the past behind and do not anticipate the future. Be present and enjoy the moment."I guess it's one thing that we look back into our life and realized the many things we miss, but it's another to live everyday in regret. We can't change our past nor have the time to around regretting our decisions, but we can choose how we live today.